Lost

I lost many things that I don’t know what to hold anymore.

I lost friends, ’cause I knew they aren’t real. I veer off them every time they insist they don’t understand me. I just want to be understood.

I lost my identity, ’cause I need money to maintain it, and I still have to finish college to earn money.

I also lost my identity ’cause my similarly weird friends and I are living in the opposite sides of the world and I can’t get close to them as of the moment.

I lost happiness ’cause you are my happiness, and you broke my heart.

I lost my creativity ’cause I’ve just been swaying with the wind. Every day, I do this routine of complying college’s requirements and it bores me to death.

I’m still joyful, optimistic, and hopeful, but you know, there’s this big empty space in my heart. We shouldn’t mistake this as a manifestation of depression and loneliness; it only implies that my heart’s waiting for someone or something to fill it.

And I know for sure that whatever or whoever fills it, just like everything I’ve ever known, will eventually go away.

Survival

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